Mindless torture.

It's amazing how just one person can just say one sentence and it just crushes your self esteem just like that.
I mean other people would have done the same thing but coming from the mouth of my own blood person. Do you know how deeply it hurts? Do you know how deep that cut went? Do you know that scars do not heal?

Every single year, or should I put it every single time it's close to chinese new year.
there's never nice words you utter. I mean don't you know the saying "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it" Nothing nice to say, then just shut the fuck up.

I can't believe I have already enough to deal with outside and I come home I have to deal with you too. Your attitude. You act like you're living a single life. LIKE HELLO reality check! You're married for god's sake. I don't even know why I got made. I wish I wasn't even born.

What have you done to show me your love?
You never show up to support, heck you don't even show encouragement.
so for fuck gods sake buck up.

I bet half the questions I can ask you,
You can't even answer a single one.
cause you're practically not even in my life.
You disappeared, just like a fragment from my memories.

What changed?
everything I suppose.
It's funny how we live together but we're strangers.
We practically have to write on papers to communicate.
pathetic hell hole.

Ever feel at times and think "Why am I even in this world, I just wanna die"
Trust me I thought about that dozen of times.
Ever thought of running away? i did.
I just could'nt bare leaving people.
Ever thought of committing suicide? I have.
But i didn't cause I know the consequences of my death.

One thing in my mind...
If you want war, YOU JUST GOT IT!
fuck my life.


Gosh, I wish I was in hell.
it could be better then what I'm feeling now.

God help me.

-VIP-